Honorable Closure by Angeles Arrien

Honorable Closure
by Angeles Arrien

Four questions to ask in the times of endings—
What am I grateful for from the experience?
How have I changed? How have I been positively impacted?
Where was I stretched or challenged?
Is there anything I need to say or do to feel complete? Is there anything that needs rectification?

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I’ve used this in so many endings, written letters, hosted conversations, personally and professionally. This is as relevant to shutting down a project as it is to the ending of a phase of relationship.

Angeles Arrien was Basque-American, a cultural anthropologist by training, who brought rigorous fieldwork on indigenous cultures (especially the Four-Fold Way teaching from her Basque heritage and her engagement with Native American traditions) into conversation with developmental psychology and contemplative practice. Honorable Closure comes out of that synthesis where endings have ritual and completion is ethical work.